The Beauty of Forgiveness

Feb 12

Written By Kathi Bishop

by Kathi Bishop

Beautiful!

What do you think of that word? I think of a few things that include

Physical attractiveness
Arizona sunsets
Mountainside in Maryland

I look at something and say, “that is beautiful.” But what if beauty is better defined in a character quality?

Beautiful is a marriage where the couple still holds hands after 30 years
Beautiful is a child who gives the biggest piece of the cake to his friend
Beautiful is a man who holds the door for an elderly woman
Beautiful is a woman who sings as she cleans the house

If that includes what is beautiful, what is not beautiful?

Ugly is a marriage where there is no physical touch
Ugly is a self absorbed child who demands the biggest and best.
Ugly is the man who doesn’t see others, and the door shuts in the face of the person behind him
Ugly is the woman who complains that she has to clean up after everyone AGAIN

So what is the answer to gaining a life of beauty? In each of these examples you see a theme. The theme of relationships. How do you maintain beauty in relationships? Make a decision to forgive.

Decide to Live a Life of Forgiveness

Can your life change because of forgiveness? What could change? Let’s look a little deeper.

When confronted with a situation that is unacceptable, what do you do? When it’s not easy to forgive, what do you do? A bowl of sour lemons looks beautiful, yet, when you taste it, it’s bad, and intolerable. What do you do if that bowl is presented to you?

Let’s look at an example. The bowl of lemons could include road rage. We all agree that road rage is unacceptable. You are on your way home from your kids' event. You and your family are having a great celebration in the car when you accidentally swerve into the other lane without signaling, and the other driver you almost swiped is incensed. He flips you off, hastily rolls down his window, and yells out things that should not be repeated, let alone said in earshot of your children.

What is your response? Anger? Embarrassment? Shame? How do you address your children as they witness the incident? Are you able to offer forgiveness in your heart towards that selfish driver? That is just one of many examples that could be made from the everyday kind of occurrences.

Let me expand this bowl of lemons to a much bigger level. What would happen on a global scale if Russia’s leaders came to Ukraine’s leaders and admitted their guilt for the unacceptable invasion of Ukraine, the killing of so many of the Ukrainian citizens, and the near annihilation of their country? What if Putin gave a speech to the world confessing his power hungry decisions, and began the process of rebuilding Ukraine for the Ukrainians’ good? What might happen in Russia when the ugliness of sin is acknowledged, turned away from, and the beginnings of restoration were able to begin?

Can you imagine if the Hamas leaders would have accepted responsibility for the killings on October 7, 2023 with the appropriate level of shame and remorse instead of the gloating way that they did? What if they began the process of moving out of Gaza, and actually helping to rebuild the area specifically for the good of the residents there? What if Israeli leaders would accept their apology? Watching the actions exhibiting real change as evidence that they truly mean it, and then respond with, “We, as the Israeli people, forgive you, Hamas.” Would the world be changed by this kind of forgiveness?

In 1965 Jackie DeShannon’s big hit song what the world needs now is love. She calls on the Lord to give us love because there just isn’t enough of it for everyone. We have enough mountains, corn fields, meadows, hillsides, oceans, sunbeams and rivers but what we really need is love, sweet love. But is love what we really need? Putin, as well as Hamas, love their own ideologies enough to attack other countries and kill innocent civilians over it. The road rager loves his family that is still safe at home, so is love what we need more of? NO! We need to see more forgiveness.

What about Consequences?

Offering forgiveness does not mean that there should not be justice for evil done, or that there aren’t appropriate consequences for actions that have been taken. Giving forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation or restoration of a relationship either. What we are considering here is the impact that could be made when forgiveness is granted in our hearts towards those that have wronged us.

In this world, we experience sin daily. Sin abounds. Sin done to us, and sin we do to others. Revenge is the world’s way of dealing with sin. Power and domination is supposed to stop sin from happening again. Yet, sin continues on anyway. Trying to control it simply doesn’t work. Unacceptable hurts need something more. What the world needs now is a Godly love demonstrated in forgiveness. That is real love.

Consider the past few years filled with COVID deaths, racial injustices, families torn apart over political strife…What if we decided to live together in unity? Would it be a blessing to the community? The simmering of undealt with sin would boil below the surface. It would be awful. There would be a next time unless there is Godly forgiveness.

How Do We Forgive?

Based on Galatians 6 “If someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”

In his book, Forgive, Tim Keller says,

“First we correct when sin is serious enough to cool off or rupture the relationship…the purpose of such a rebuke is to ‘win’ your brother and practically rescue the relationship. When correcting someone is a way to ‘bear one another’s burden’ actually it is an expression of an interdependent relationship. Second, we should correct when the sin against us is evidently part of a pattern of behavior that the other person is seriously ‘stuck’ in…And how do we do it? If the motive of the correction is the growth of the person, then we will be loving and gentle…true love is willing to confront, even to ‘lose’ the beloved in the short run if there is a chance to help him or her.”

He goes on to say that forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean “I trust you.”

I encourage you to read that excellent book! We need to follow the correct order of first confronting the sins within ourselves, and then after prayer and confidential counsel from trusted sources, we must decide whether to go to the other person in regards to their sin.

What if you decided to forgive the way God forgives? I wonder if you would start an amazing work of God! Your decision to forgive would spin a golden thread that would bind us together, and make the world a better place to reside. If we intentionally make it our aim to forgive our “enemies” as Jesus did, what would your community look like?

Gorgeous. Stunning. Attractive. Dazzling. A bright light in a dark world!