Net-Working the Church
by Joe Leavell
A Look at the Need
Many years ago, a couple in our church shocked the congregation by getting a divorce. They had been married for almost twenty years, had five children, were involved in all the church’s services, were active in various ministries, etc. By all accounts, anyone in the church would have thought them to be a model couple after which they would want to pattern their own marriages
No one even knew they were struggling.
Seemingly out of nowhere, they got a nasty divorce where the wife took off and now has very little involvement even in the lives of her children.
No one knew what happened. No one knew what to do to help.
Needless to say, no one in that family stayed long in that church.
This is only one of a multitude of stories I could share of people who looked healthy externally when they showed up for church but behind the scenes, they were besieged with various major spiritual problems and everyone in the church was oblivious.
These issues have varied widely in areas such as adultery, children announcing to their families that they are gay, children running away from home, struggles with bitterness and anger, addictions such as alcohol and pornography, etc.
Not limiting it to spiritual problems alone, I have also witnessed families struggling with layoffs, relocation, major health issues, vehicle issues, etc. These types of problems have caused enormous stress on families which results in spiritual strain. Many of these families chose to face these crises alone while the church found out too late about their burdens that needed bearing.
To be fair, I have seen, and even been the beneficiary of, individual members and whole congregations that do an admirable job of providing meaningful assistance to those who are struggling either spiritually or physically.
In medicine, preventive care through a balanced diet, exercise, regular doctor checkups, etc. are all helpful in making sure that problems are dealt with when they are still minor. Yet in each of these scenarios on a spiritual level, instead of involved discipleship that prevents issues, I have often observed local churches take a reactionary approach. As such, these churches are often overwhelmed with a cascade of problems and issues that plague their congregations.
Many churches barely have the resources to stay ahead of the issues anyway. Their staff are designed to go from family to family, fire to fire. Pastoral staff often see the struggles of their people and are often overwhelmed and overburdened with the need.
We see this in counseling as well. How often I’ve said to myself, “Where were you two years ago? Why did you wait until things got this bad before you sought help?!
The Fishhook
I believe there are at least two basic approaches that churches use to proactively and tangibly help people connect and grow.
The first, I equate with a fishhook. In fishing, fishhooks are a one-dimensional, direct approach, that we hope will solve the problem so that we can move on to the next person with an issue to address.
For example, when the problem is with personal sin, the hope is that counseling with the pastor or several sermons on the given topic will solve the issue.
When a teen is having difficulty then the answer is one-on-one mentoring.
If the problem is physical, like a health issue, we respond by a hospital visit or a meal to the family.
How do we get people involved in using their gifts in serving in an area of need? Put an ad in the bulletin or host an event centered on getting people to sign up to help.
When it becomes known that poor people in the congregation need financial help, the answer is to put a box in the back of the church for people to anonymously donate food or money.
To meet the problems with marriages and families in the church, the solution is to have a class on the subject or send them to a marriage counselor.
The fishhook approach is also employed as a method of church growth and outreach. This model dresses up a fishhook with bait to attract people to the church, employing methods such as an event, a guest speaker, a quality band, kid’s programs, a special curriculum, etc. Why? Because leaders are trying to draw and connect people to the church.
I do not use these examples to ‘knock’ these direct solutions. After all, I am a marriage counselor myself! Hospital visits, pointed sermons, counseling, mentoring, etc. are all great things and are an important part of the process! Yet all alone, they are limited in scope in comparison to a multifaceted approach to discipleship and care.
This first, one-dimensional approach to addressing the burdens of church congregations, is limited in its effectiveness. Like a fish avoiding one fishhook in a big pond, it is easy for a person to simply avoid the fishhooks with which they do not wish to engage.
The husband and wife that surprised everyone with a divorce had done just this. It was easy for them to weave in between ministries. They had selectively only engaged in the arenas that made them look “OK” to their church family and avoided areas that would reveal their struggles.
While there are many positives that can be said about the fishhook, it tends to lend itself to developing a selective or even a consumer-driven style of the church where one or two main attractions or people become the motivating factor for people’s attendance, whether it be worship style, the preaching, the kids’ ministries, etc.
In this scenario, people often isolate themselves according to their desires rather than being integrated into a loving body of believers. When the hook is no longer attractive enough, they often get upset and leave. Or worse, when problems come, it is easy for their one line to the church to snap and they quickly fall off the radar.
The Net-Working of the Church
The second approach I would equate with casting a net. You may have noticed that nets are much harder for a fish to avoid than a fishhook and much more effective in catching fish.
This Net-work is not simply about coordinating ministries and church people; a church ‘net-work’ is the interweaving and fusing of united relationships in the body of Christ for the edifying of the body in love.
To put it plainly, a church that is ‘net-worked’ is working for its members to become so relationally interconnected with each other that the idea of someone having marriage issues and no one knowing about it would be virtually impossible. This means that the congregation has enough relational ties that cross each other in various areas of their life in the church which provides a virtual safety net of love, accountability, and edification.
That doesn’t mean that everyone needs to know everyone’s business. A net doesn’t connect at every point with all points. However, every part of the net is tied together to other parts that are in turn connected with other parts. Like the analogy of a body that Scripture uses, the whole church body then becomes interconnected with one another through edifying relationships that serve and bless each other in love.
U-Net-y
1 Corinthians 1:10 says
“ I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment.”
The word “united” is the same root word that is used of the disciples who were “mending their nets.” The idea is that we are to be meshed together like a net around Jesus Christ, not compartmentalized into different factions based on our favorite fishhook (“I am of Paul! I am of Apollos!”).
When one or two believers are abiding in Christ and join in demonstrating Christ’s love in real koinonia fellowship, the effects can be noticeably beneficial to the church. When an entire congregation of believers encapsulates a culture of genuine love for one another, the effect can strongly impact the entire community!
Discipling a church through mutually edifying, intentionally networked relationships is not primarily attractional, but much like a fishing net, it is hard to stay away from people whose lives are knit together in Christ’s love!
Net mending
Moving from a fishhook to a net-work approach is not simply a matter of putting a new program into place. It is not achieved through guilt-tripping people into spending time with virtual strangers.
In my first pastorate, I mistakenly assumed that since no programs for connection were in place, people were just waiting for an outlet in order to fulfill the clear commands of Christ towards their brothers and sisters. So, I preached, modeled, and started a program…and...nothing really changed overnight. Why? Because a changed heart isn’t a formula or a recipe. No matter what we do to facilitate change, we always need to remember that it is Christ alone who builds His church. It would do us well to remember that any spiritual change in a person or congregation is the work of the Holy Spirit.
At the same time however, Ephesians 4:12 tells us that one of the reasons that God gave congregations church leaders is for the “perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.”
The word “perfecting,” again, is the same word used for mending the nets.
One of the many roles of the pastor then is to oversee the work of “perfecting (or mending) of the saints” in the body. While everyone is involved in ministry, they oversee making sure the net of discipleship and equipping is tended to.
BCA Can Help
At BCA, we have a heart to help you not just attend your church, but to get connected with other believers for your own sake and for theirs.
Counseling can certainly be an important part of your growth, but it is only one line in a giant net that God designed for your flourishing. The interconnection you need with other godly believers in your church is vital to your growth and development as a believer and in finding lasting health.
This isn’t just about you either. God uses the line of connection you provide for others in a lifegiving way as well.
If you are a pastor or church leader and would like to talk through what it may look like to make ‘net-working’ a reality in your church, please reach out to us! Where does your church’s net need mending? We’d love to be a support for you and your congregation as partners in your work to ‘mend the nets’ in your church.
This article is adapted from a previous version published here: https://sharperiron.org/article/net-working-local-church
For Further Reading:
Side by Side: Walking with Others in Wisdom and Love: by Ed Welch
When the Church Was a Family: Recapturing Jesus' Vision for Authentic Christian Community: by Joseph Hellermen
Sticky Church (Leadership Network Innovation Series): by Larry Osborne
