I Know the Right Answer So Why Can’t I Change?
by Joe Leavell
Those who know me well are aware that I occasionally suffer from pretty brutal migraine headaches. In my case, I know exactly where they come from. When I accompany daily stresses with being a slouch, it causes strain on my upper neck that will trigger eye spasms and my entire skull becoming a cramped mass of pain.
Frustratingly enough, I still find myself instinctively slumping forward every day. Even as I type this I am instinctively slouching forward. Why?
If I intellectually know how to sit better and know how to keep myself from headaches, why wouldn’t I just automatically break the habit of slouching, start sitting straight, shoulders back, and do what my doctor, chiropractor, my mother, and my wife have been telling me to do for years?
The truth of the matter is, having the knowledge of how to stop the migraines alone has never produced any change in my behavior to stop my migraines.
Knowing is a starting point, but it’s never enough.
Information is Not our Problem
We know sin is destructive. We feel its horrific effects every day. We know both intellectually and experientially that sin causes us pain and that God is not honored when we choose to disregard His ways.
Yet that information alone is not enough to produce a change in behavior. So we continue to work on becoming better educated in the things of God. We read books, go to friends, pastors, read blogs (like this one), seminars, and often seek counseling. We’re trying to find some fresh bit of missing data that will provide that extra “oomph” to get us to become the person we want to be.
We place enormous pressure on friends, relatives, counselors, and pastors to have that one witty story, that one motivational talk, that one witty point in a sermon, that magic formula that will finally break through for us to find lasting change we are looking for.
But we’ve tried this before, haven’t we? We seek help and then still don’t change? So we get frustrated and eventually fall back into that well-traveled route that we have dug into our minds and our behavior. Maybe this sermon will do it though. Maybe this counselor. Maybe this new diet, trend, routine, etc. etc.
What are we missing??
When our reliance on new information is ultimately and inevitably unsuccessful, it is easy to posture ourselves as victims of others who couldn’t explain what we needed for us to change. We include God in our frustration because it must be His fault that we’re stuck. I mean, Jesus came to give us the abundant life, right? The truth will set us free, right? This sure doesn’t feel like what He described! Why would He be so cruel to withhold that one bit of info I need?
More Than a Formula
The reality is that God does not simply go after our sinful habits on an intellectual level. While He graciously warns us of the consequences, Nowhere in Scripture will you find a formula that says, “Here are three easy steps to motivate you to change from darkness to light.”
Frankly, God is not interested in merely stopping our sinful habits. God is also not interested in simply giving you answers. Yes, you read that right.
Why?
God is interested in something better than simply rearranging our addictions and habits. He wants us to not just find an answer but to understand that He Himself is the answer, and that we worship who He is and what He does. He is the one who changes us and we surrender to His work.
His primarily desires for us to glorify and worship Him by seeing and experiencing powerful freedom that is only found in the Gospel of Christ.
This is why the Apostle Paul, who, as a Pharisee had a vast education, did not rely on intellectual reasoning when he taught. He didn’t rely on the latest book from a famous author, or some new material that promised change. He didn’t rely on flowery words or witty stories, but rather he says unapologetically,
“I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.”
The context makes clear that Paul did not have some vendetta against information or wisdom. He wasn’t being lazy to cover up ignorance because he could go toe to toe with any intellectual of his day. Rather, Paul understood that real heart change only comes through the simplicity of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The power of God produces change from the inside out as God changes our nature into His image through the Gospel.
We change then, not because we’re told to, “sit up straight” but because we have already been positionally “made straight” through Christ and we celebrate our position with Him.
Believers have been gifted with a new identity through Christ’s sacrifice that frees us from our sin in a way that expresses, “You have been made straight through Christ…now, walk with the Spirit in celebration of that reality.”
You don’t have to wait for a new bit of information to no longer walk with a spiritual slouch. You already have everything you need because you have already been set free.
Change is the Fruit, not the Root
While correct knowledge and wisdom is important, and even commanded by God (see Proverbs and 2 Peter 3:18), seeking information as your sole source of change is the wrong path.
You do not have the power to fundamentally change yourself, nor do you even really want to. If you, a pastor, a book, a class, or anything else could change you, Jesus would never have had to die in the first place.
Galatians 5:16 expresses how believers can be free from their sinful habits. It explains, “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
That’s it. It’s not a formula, but a person.
Behavior change then is sourced not in our abilities, but in abiding with God. Freedom comes not from information but from fellowship with the Spirit.
You see, Jesus didn’t come to simply give us the tools to change bad habits with good habits or about give intellectual information. He came to redeem us so that we could know God, to reflect His nature, and to live rightly in the world that He has made as we walk with Him.
Change then is centered on expressing our new identity that He has given those of us who have been made right with God through Christ through fellowship with Him. Change is powered through relationship.
What Does Spirit Change Look Like Practically?
When you walk with the Spirit and in the power of God’s love for you, you will begin to be a person whose nature reflects that love to others.
As you dwell in the joy of the salvation that we have been given you will become a person who is expressive of joy.
As you walk with the Prince of Peace, you will become characterized as a person of peace.
When you recognize how patient God is with you as you learn from Him and grow in Him, it gives you fuel to be patient with others as they grow.
Get the idea?
Galatians calls this kind of change as “the fruit of the Spirit.” It’s not the fruit of enlightenment or even the fruit of bare-knuckled determination. It’s the work of God.
It doesn’t matter if you are struggling with pornography, anger, bitterness and resentment, food or alcohol abuses, or any number of other sinful habits. You do not find true freedom from those things from simple willpower and knowledge alone.
It is only when you surrender your heart to God’s Spirit and walk with Him that you will begin to take off the works of darkness and put on the Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 13:14). As you celebrate Him and grow in your wonder of Him, alone and in community with other believers, you will find the old sinful characteristics losing their appeal, and new godly character beginning to take shape.
God’s fruit will ripen within you, and you will see your spiritual posture and behavior beginning to change, and even, shall we say, to straighten.
For Further Study:
Remaining Steadfast and Stable - by Monte Leavell
The Imperfect Disciple - by Jared C. Wilson
How People Change - by Paul Tripp and Tim Lane
You Can Change - by Tim Chester
A shorter version of this article can also be found here:
I Know the Right Answer, so Why Can't I Change? - Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (biblicalcounseling.com)
