A Community of Forgiveness: Philemon - Part 1
by Joe Leavell
“Forgiveness is a beautiful word, until you have something to forgive.”
Forgiveness is not easy to understand, nor is it easy to do.
One thing I love about the Word of God is that God doesn’t just command us to forgive one another and then leave us there wondering what that means. He explains to us what forgiveness is, how far our forgiveness is to go, and gives us example after example in both the Old Testament and New Testament.
He also shows the consequences when we don’t forgive. What’s more, Jesus gave us several parables about forgiveness, and most importantly, God gave us His Son who actually offered up His own life in order to redeem us to Himself, so that we can experience peace and forgiveness through the blood of Christ.
In addition to all of this, He gave us this short little letter called Philemon. God’s Word provides us with a powerful real-life illustration of forgiveness and reconciliation. Ultimately, forgiveness is an outworking of the Gospel at work in the life of Paul, Philemon, AND Onesimus. It’s a beautiful book that is very helpful for any of us who have struggled with forgiveness.
Over the course of a few blogs, we are going to go through the book of Philemon using a counseling lens. We will go practically through the principles of forgiveness and reconciliation that God reveals to us here through this beautiful example of Philemon and Onesimus. I would encourage you to have an open Bible and read through the book several times to digest the significance of this powerful little book for us who need this counsel.
This little letter is a unique book of the Bible. It is the shortest letter that Paul wrote that is included in the Bible and only one of a few letters written to a private individual rather than to an entire church. It has no doctrinal commands about forgiveness, or any other commands, or even teaching at all for that matter! All of the principles we will glean are from their real-life examples.
Meeting the Key Characters
Apostle Paul:
This letter was written probably during the Apostle Paul’s first imprisonment following his third missionary journey. Several times throughout the book, Paul uses a lot of his personal influence, his friendship, and even the fact that he is a prisoner because of the Gospel, to gain a hearing to his plea for Onesimus. His role in this book is as an arbitrator of this offense between Onesimus and Philemon.
This was a big deal! Paul isn’t just sending out a Tweet saying #freeOnesimus. He’s personally intervening in a real situation in the lives of real people for whom he truly cares.
This is an actual runaway slave and his former master whose relationship had been severed. Both men are dear to Paul, and he treats both the slave and the master as peers of one another, loving them equally as brothers!
What I love about this book is that Paul teaches us by example that estranged relationships still matter. Christ’s work of reconciling us to God, forgiving us of our sins, is beautifully reflected in our relationships when those who bear His name work towards reconciliation wherever possible.
Philemon:
Paul describes Philemon as a “fellow worker.” As Paul went through his missionary journeys, many people worked side by side with him. Some of these were Aquila and Priscilla, Timothy, Silas, Epaphras, and many others.
Somewhere along the lines, Paul had apparently worked with Philemon in the area of Asia Minor. There is a good case from verse 19 that it had been Paul who led Philemon to Christ and had worked side by side with him, discipling Philemon and others.
We can deduce from the letter that Philemon was one of the wealthier members of the church since the church met in his home, and since he had at least owned one slave, Onesimus. Philemon is presented as the one who has been wronged in this letter and Paul is calling on him to shoulder the burden of reconciling with Onesimus and receiving him back, not as a slave, but as a brother.
The Church:
This would have more than likely been the church in Colossae. The book of Colossians and this personal letter were very likely sent by Paul’s companions, Tychicus, and Onesimus together, as they are both mentioned at the end of Colossians where Paul tells the church that they will give an update on Paul’s activities. In addition, Paul calls Onesimus “our faithful and beloved brother, who is one of you.”
This is a very personal matter that Paul addresses. So personal that it almost feels like we’re eavesdropping over Philemon’s shoulder as he reads it!
Are we supposed to be reading about this? Is this any of our business? After all, this is a personal dispute that happened almost two thousand years ago! Yet, God chose for this to not only be made public but that it be one that would be included in the pages of Scripture for us to read and learn from two thousand years later. That’s significant!
Can you imagine if something that was this personal in your life was read in front of the whole church next Sunday? Yet think about it. Everyone in the church was going to notice when Onesimus showed up with this letter from Paul and asked Philemon for reconciliation. With Onesimus’ return, this personal issue between him and Philemon would be impossible not to be public.
It makes me wonder how Philemon received these words. It also makes me wonder how you and I will receive these words. If you are reading this because you are struggling with forgiveness, if you are having a hard time understanding it, working through a bitter heart, or even are wounded through no fault of your own, you are NOT meant to carry that burden alone! You may be a private individual but you need support. God knows that and offers this story as one more powerful demonstration.
The community of believers called the Church is designed by God to help you. This is one reason why counseling with a biblical counselor can be so impactful, because a biblical counselor is a small part of that commitment to the Church community as well, providing a safe place to work through your struggles and pains.
In the end, the Church doesn’t exist simply to sing a few songs and listen to a sermon on Sunday, but rather it is also a place to apply these relational principles of Scripture between brothers and sisters in Christ. When we do this in love for one another, we build a community of forgiveness, grace, and reconciliation which becomes a powerful story of Christ’s love we demonstrate to a lost world that desperately needs redemption!
Onesimus:
Not much is known of this man named Onesimus. What we do know is that he had been some form of a slave in Philemon’s household. Under Philemon’s charge, he had been an unbeliever who had apparently escaped slavery and fled to Rome. Paul’s letter hints that Onesimus may have even stolen money from Philemon as well.
Why he went to Rome, we don’t know, but it certainly would have been a large enough place for a runaway slave to disappear. One possibility is that because Paul had led Philemon to the Lord and had ministered together with him when Paul was in the region, Onesimus would probably have known who Paul was. He might have known that Paul had gone to Rome, so maybe he sought Paul out for help and sanctuary.
Regardless, all we know is that as an unbeliever, Onesimus escaped Philemon and fled to Rome, met the imprisoned Paul, and learned that even though Onesimus was seemingly free physically, it was Paul who was free spiritually. Truly, even though Onesimus had run from slavery, he was the one still in bondage to sin, and in need of rescue through Christ.
Onesimus, whose name means ‘useful’, ironically, lived up to that name in the service of Paul. The imprisoned apostle would have wanted to keep him with him in Rome, except that Onesimus didn’t have Philemon’s permission to be there because he had run away. It wasn’t as if Paul could make a phone call to ask him either. Paul, a man of integrity, sends Onesimus back to his former master to be reconciled.
We don’t know how long Onesimus was with Paul before Paul sent him back, but he obviously had become very dear as the Apostle calls him his “child” and his “very heart!”
So, the entire backdrop of this letter is Paul sending a now-believing slave named Onesimus back to Philemon with Paul’s personally addressed letter in hand in order to plead his case on behalf of the slave. Paul’s friendship and ministry with Philemon is used as collateral for Philemon’s forgiveness.
Looking Ahead
The beauty of Paul's writing on behalf of Onesimus is that it demonstrates that the church is made of so many people who would never make the pages of world history books. Yet, if this seemingly insignificant runaway slave matters so much that there is an entire book of the Bible written on his behalf, then we can certainly take comfort that our stories matter to God as well.
Your life matters! Your relationships with others matter as well!
Next time we will look at objections to forgiveness as there was a massive cultural barrier in reconciling a slave and his master, moving from theft to brotherhood. I hope you will see just how much God cares for you to illustrate His good design for reconciling broken relationships.
For Further Study:
Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I: by Tim Keller
The Peacemaker: By Ken Sande
Relationships: A Mess Worth Making: by Timothy S. Lane, Paul David Tripp
